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Love Lesson 6 Lost
Ever had the feeling that you are all alone?
You could be living in a house full of people, in the middle of a classroom, or in a club where you know everybody, but all the same you feel lost and alone. Nothing is quite the same as it was, people don’t seem to recognise you, they just don’t see you, you certainly don’t feel the love that was once abundant. The joy in your heart is nowhere to be seen, the sparkle in your eyes has turned cloudy and the peace is nothing more than a lonely silence. Do you ask yourself; “What am I doing here?” What is my purpose?” Why have I been deserted?” Maybe; “What did I do to find myself in this situation?” or even; “What’s the point?”.
Now, question two. Have you ever been on the way somewhere and got lost? What do you do if this happens? Do you just give up? Sometimes maybe, if it isn’t that important, but normally we will try every road until we get to where we are supposed to be, we will search on a map and even ask people to help.
What happens if you have mislaid something that you really need, something that is not in it’s usual place? The likelihood is that you will ask if anyone has seen the missing item and if not turn out every cupboard until it is found.
“But it’s not the same thing!” I hear you and I agree, it doesn’t feel like the same thing. You feel as though everyone is ignoring you, they are the ones making you feel this way. They are the ones pushing you away. They are the ones who don’t understand you. They should be the ones to put their arms around you and pull you back into living again. The love has just gone, lost forever. No matter where you look, what you do for them, how you try to change yourself, nothing happens. Love is lost, you’re lost.
We try everything, we try what we did last time we felt this way, but that doesn’t even work. Nothing seems to work. You may even put a ‘poem’ on the wall:
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
[Author; God, Written by Paul]
All that this seemed to do was make matters worse, others now decide to quote the ‘poem’ at you. “You don’t trust me, so you can’t love me!” Or “All you think about is how you feel what about me, you’re so self-seeking!”. Don’t turn to them and say, “What about all of the records of my failings that you keep!” Don’t!
Many people get to this point a sometime in our lives. The brink of ‘giving up’. In fact in 2017, globally, more than 300 million people of all ages suffer from depression. This is just the number of people who reported their condition. You are not alone. [WHO, 2017]
If you are at this point, just stop for a second. Go to a quiet place and say these words out loud; ‘Love perseveres’ and ‘Love never fails’. Say them and believe them. Remember your Love bank.
The first step to getting back on the road is knowing that you have the biggest and best source to your freedom inside of you, all you have to do is take time and believe it. At this point no one else matters, because you can’t do anything for them until you are sorted. Get out of the noise and believe. Love is in you and will never leave. Many things can get in the way and circumstances can overwhelm you, but Love hangs on in there waiting to be called for help.
Next step: Ask for that help. Love will show you that you are not alone. Ask specifically for what it is you need, if you don’t know, ask to be shown. Once you know this, you are on the way. Trust the Love inside of you. Love never fails, Love will never leave you.
I remember not so very long ago, I was really struggling, I had a million and one things to do and whatever I tried to do I upset someone who then seemed to add something else to my list. What did I do about it? I tried even harder to please more people and subsequently my own list got longer and I got more depressed about what I had ahead of me. I was drowning. What I did then was add some more noise, to drown out the feeling of doom. I did this just before I went to my room, flopped on the bed and in my way I shouted to Love; “I can’t do this any more, this is not Love, Love doesn’t hurt, there is no fear in Love, I give up, I’m exhausted! What more can I do?”
As clear as day and very loudly, Love, (That internal voice, known to me as the Holy Spirit) told me what to do. “Stop!”
He continued, “I can see that you are trying to do everything to please everyone, but what I see is happening is you getting cross with everyone because you’re spending more time doing what they want and less doing what you want, this is not going to help the way you feel about them or the way you feel about yourself. You are setting yourself up for failure. You know that what you have to do is difficult, so instead of getting on and doing it, you’re doing stuff for them, so that you can have someone to blame when you fail. Let them get on with their business and you get on with yours.” I have to tell you, this seemed a little harsh, but when I considered it I could see that Love had spoken the truth. I was pushing Love away and drowning myself. I made a list of priorities (Mine) and the very next morning got on with them, but not before having a chat with Love first.
Looking back today, I can see that I was heading for depression, (been there before, know what it looks like). When we are heading down that road, we set ourselves up to get there. Things build up one at a time and because we are flailing about we want others to do the same, that way we don’t look too bad. But when they don’t, we look for fault in them. This is the point we need to stop and ask Love to help. We need to take our ‘poem’ and look at each verse, remembering that this is in us and will never leave, we just need to stop hiding from it and start calling on Love. We are not alone, ever! Love is in you. Say this version and believe it.
I am not alone, (I may feel alone, but I’m not alone).
I am patient, I am kind.
I don’t envy, I don’t boast,
I’m not proud.
I’m not rude, I’m not self-seeking,
I’m not easily angered.
I keeps no record of wrongs.
I do not delight in evil
I rejoices with the truth.
I always protect, I always trust,
I always have hope, I always persevere.
I never fail.
I am not alone.
I will never be alone.
This is Love.
I am in love, Love is in me and will never leave me.
I am not alone and together with Love I can do this and more!
Now stop reading and get going.
‘I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.’ Philippians 4:13
With Love from Romania x
World Health Organisation. 2017. Depresion Facts. [ONLINE] Available at: http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs369/en/ [Accessed 29 January 2018].